By Vidas Pinkevicius (get free updates of new posts here)
Are you nervous you won't be able to prepare adequately for your public organ performance? Chances are you are not giving yourself plenty of time to prepare. You see, even though you can master 4 measures a day, 1 page a week, 4 pages a month, it doesn't mean you will be able to perform a piece which is 4 pages long after one month (unless you're an expert in which case it's completely different story). My rule of thumb is to play a run-through of your organ recital at least 30 days in advance. If you learn at this pace, you can only play the piece without stopping after this month with lots of mistakes. So add one more month to this piece and then you can feel how the performance anxiety gradually diminishes. Plan well ahead.
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By Vidas Pinkevicius
I tend to look at my fingers when improvising on the organ. Is it bad? After all, where else you should look when there is no music score placed on the music rack. But what, if you are constantly looking at your fingers when playing repertoire? Or hymns? When you perform in public, your focus is precious. Lose your focus and you can start making big mistakes which may lead to performance anxiety and panic from which you may not recover during the performance. What happens is that when you constantly dividing your attention between the score and your fingers, chances to lose focus is much greater. I think this can be avoided by forcing yourself not to look down. It isn't easy, I know that. It takes time and you can lose patience, start to be frustrated and drop into your old habit sooner than the real results can be felt. For practicing purposes only, what if you let yourself hit the wrong keys while training your gaze to be fixed on the score only? Just wondering. I hoped this day would never come.
Recently I was asked to play for the graduation ceremony at Vilnius University which will happen the next Wednesday. I planned all new pieces that I've either never played before or didn't touch for at least a few years. So I started practicing them on my home organ and a couple of days ago decided to have a test play at the church. Unfortunately another graduation ceremony was about to happen and instead of rehearsing, I ended up performing for hundreds of people that day. I didn't choose to improvise on purpose, I just wanted to experience the feeling of playing in public music that I thought I'm not ready to perform yet. So in a way it was a test for me. Kind of like an experiment. One side of me had to do the subjective part of performing and another - sort of looking at the situation objectively and discovering how I felt. I felt quite helpless. I felt afraid. I felt scared out of my mind and risking everything. I knew hundreds of people downstairs are listening to me. What kept me going was that I realized there was no one to save me, kept reminding myself that I'm a professional at this, and then I resolved not to stop. So if you are ever put in a situation like I was when you have to face the music and play unfamiliar pieces that you thought you are not yet ready to perform in public, my main advice for you is not to stop no matter what. Regardless how you feel, regardless how scared you are. Just keep pounding those keys until you hit the end of the piece. And don't forget to breath. Notice I don't tell you not to be afraid. Breathing will help you to avoid panic. Just breath and keep going. [This post was written by Ausra] Don't you hate that sinking feeling in your stomach before the performance? Or how about having a difficult time to sleep before your recital or church service?
Or perhaps your past experiences where so terrifying that you swore never to play in public again? Although performance anxiety is a natural feeling and will probably never completely go away, the good news is - it doesn't have to freak you out and you can feel great joy while playing for others. If you have ever panicked while playing organ in public, you need to learn how to manage your feeling of fear. To help you control the situation better, Ausra and I have created a special course for you - Beyond Performance Anxiety. Check it out here (you'll get 50% discount, if you sign up before May ends) Are you terrified of playing organ in public? Or perhaps you've been asked to play for church service and now you can't even sleep at night, eat, or think about anything else? When you start practicing most of your worries will disappear. It's when you are THINKING about performance that you are afraid. You need to act and there's no reason why you couldn't successfully play in church in the future. Since I feel you are the person who wouldn't voluntarily jump into the dark pool at night, another technique is wading. Step by step. Bit by bit. Less stressful. And no, your 70 years of age shouldn't be a problem either. I have students in their late 80's who are still practicing, trying to improve and taking action. But it's not possible, if you concentrate on how you are afraid, on how poorly you will play. Instead, focus on how you can add value to your congregation and help others grow. [HT to Katharine] Ausra's Harmony Exercise: Practice ascending chromatic sequence in F# minor. The chords: I-V43-I6 (see video example below): Victoria asks Ausra about the fingering in playing chords: "Are there any finger number for the exercise? Or you can use any fingers?" We generally use interval fingering in each hand, playing the 2nds with 2-3 or 3-4, the 3rds with 1-3 or 2-4, the 4ths with 1-4 or 2-5, the 5ths, 6ths, 7ths, and 8ves with 1-5. In other words, think about each chord in SATB position as having 2 intervals, one between S and A and the other between T and B. Do you have a question about harmony for Ausra? You can reach her by email. Heart pounding, lost appetite, sweat dripping, a heavy feeling in your stomach, poor sleeping starting a few nights before the recital - that's all the symptoms of performance anxiety.
It comes from perfectionism - how will you look in the eyes of others? It has nothing to do with how well actually you are prepared or what level you are at or how remarkable your playing is but everything to do with the fear of failure, fear of looking bad in public, fear of getting discovered that you are a fraud. Now helping others is an emotion you extend away from yourself. You focus making other people happy. Another factor helps - immersing yourself into situations of controlled risk more often. The more you do it, the stronger you have a feeling that you have what it takes. I have an improvisation recital tonight which will be based on the Lithuanian dramatic fairy tale Egle Queen of Grass Snakes. My main focus is not on myself, how well I'm prepared, how well I'm going to play, how am I going to look in the eyes of my listeners but on helping people experience and appreciate this fascinating story created live with musical means. Don't focus on becoming better than others but on helping others become better people. That's all there's to it. Have you ever parked a car and felt a sudden rush of fear that you will break your neighbor's vehicle? This panic attack can be so powerful that you can freeze behind the wheel, mix the pedals, and even drive into a building that's close by.
It turns out there's a simple fix to this situation - just go the opposite direction a little bit (until you'll see which way you should go). Go the opposite direction. The same can be done in organ improvisation when you feel stuck and not sure where to turn. Simply back up. This trick will be a nice turning point which will immediately result in a fresh idea of what to do next. If in doubt, do the opposite of what your inner dragons are saying. PS Attention to all Total Organist members: My new BWV 630 Practice Guide is included into the Total Organist program, so subscribers of all levels of memberships receive it at no additional cost. This Practice Guide is designed so that you won't have any feeling of panic or being lost while practicing but instead firmly progress in a step-by-step manner like moving on the train tracks and inevitably reaching your goal of mastering this piece. Tom writes that his dream is to achieve technical confidence and express the beauty of the music and liturgies that he plays. The three things that inhibit his progress are that sometimes he lets time constraints win over discipline, problems with accurate pedal playing, and getting beyond always having to prepare what he has to play at the next mass.
If you are in a situation like Tom, you probably feel a fair amount of fear. A fear that your won't be able to play the pedals without mistakes when needed; a fear that you won't have enough time to prepare for the liturgy; a fear that when you don't have enough time to practice the right way, you'll take shortcuts and sacrifice the mental toughness you have accumulated over the years in favor of the panic that sets in when you feel the pressure. If you really want to advance to a whole new level in organ playing, one day in the not too distant future you are going to face your worst fears and see what you are really made of. You are not going to try finding an easy way out, you are not going to turn around and run, and you are not going to change your goal. What you really need is to feel your fear, acknowledge it, and look straight into the eyes of the thing that scares you the most. This is how you overcome fear and move to the next level. It's not easy. I remember my fear I had when I first started to improvise full-length recitals in public. I feared that I would not be able to improvise for a full hour; I feared that my improvisations are going to be boring; I feared that I would miss the time-marks and go way over the limits of the 60 minutes; I feared that I would not be able to change the stops by myself. I had no choice but to face my fears. A deadline was set. The day came. I sat on the organ bench and played. It was scary at first. The waiting for the recital was scary. The beginning of it was scary too. But I had to keep going - you can't just stop and leave the church in the middle of the performance, can you? I had to figure it out. Interestingly enough, it was easier and easier after the half-time mark. After that I knew it could be done. And so likewise, you, my reader, have to just do it, simply open your eyes and see it through what you fear the most. There is no magic to it, only determination and will-power. After that, you will be changed. What's the thing you fear the most in organ playing? Sight-reading: Part II: Adagio doloroso (p. 11) from Organ Sonata "Appassionata", Op.57 by Johan Adam Krygell (1835-1915) who was a Danish organist and composer of the Romantic period. Hymn playing: All Hail The Power Of Jesus’ Name The most profound definition of non-clinical anxiety I found is by Seth Godin:
Anxiety is experiencing failure in advance. For organists it means something like this:
Seth suggests another path: Experiencing success in advance. How about this:
It works, when you write it down. I can't wait to hear about your next adventure (and the one after that). Imagine you sat down at the organ and where asked to improvise. A lot of people would freak out. They would freeze. It seams so scary. The idea that you should play something which is not written on the page might seem so frightening. You don't know what key to press, you don't know when to press it, you don't know when to release it, you don't know what's coming up next.
And yet... Some people seem to be perfectly at ease when improvising. This uncertainty doesn't seem to bother them at all. On the contrary, they seek out opportunities to improvise, they even start by playing a written piece and later expand it and finish it by improvising. So what can you learn from improvisers? Are there any things that can be applied to your performance even if you don't improvise, even if you only play music from the score. Here are some things that might be helpful. Focus on what you know. When you sit down to improvise and are given a theme for strict improvisation, you might be afraid of not being able to do it in the correct manner. Instead, you relax and play what you know. You might not know how to play in a contrapuntal style but the modal techniques might work for you. The same can be said about playing from the score. Out of several pieces you are working on right now there surely must be your favorite one. Over time the list of compositions you are comfortable with will become longer and longer, just like the techniques and tricks for improvisation. Enjoy the ride. So many people suffer from performance anxiety. The primary reason for this is where you put your focus during the performance. If you focus on yourself (inward), then it's really frightening because others are watching you and supposedly judging you. It might even be more true when you sit down to improvise. You might be thinking that your listeners will notice your shortcomings. Instead, you should focus your attention on the music (outward). Simply know that your listeners came with good intentions. They want to enjoy your performance. So should you. Every moment you spend on the organ bench, you bring great joy to some. This feeling always relaxes the pressure and helps treasure the moment. Tell stories. Improvisers always tell stories. The story might not be easily understood by the inexperienced listener because it might be a musical story. Just like creating a verbal story, we use words and language to communicate, so do improvisers who use sounds and musical language when they create music. You could use the same idea when you perform from the score. Figure out what kind of musical story can be created out of this piece. Analyse the tonal plan, thematic development, melodies, rhythms, harmonies, texture, and form and be conscious about at least some of these musical elements when you perform in public. Don't just play the notes. Put some meaning into them. Make mistakes. This one might be the hardest to accept but it's vital, I think. Improvisers always make mistakes. People just don't notice them. Sometimes when the mistakes are noticeable, improvisers incorporate them into a piece. Improvisers train themselves to use whatever is at hand, including the mistake because it might and it will lead you to some interesting musical adventures. Are you afraid of making mistakes when playing from the score? You shouldn't be. The thing is, if you are not making mistakes, you are not doing anything that matters, you are not creating value, you are not reaching your full potential. And the twist is (because there's always a twist) that when you allow yourself to make a mistake, when it's OK to fail, you suddenly notice that mistakes disappear. Isn't this the case when you play alone so relaxed and nobody is watching you? When failure is an option, so is the success. Keep these things in mind when you perform in public. I know, it takes completely different mindset to be relaxed and assume improvisational stance but it makes all the difference. Just remember that the vast majority of organ music composed up to 1800's was created with the idea that it might serve as model, as an example for improvisations. It actually is fun to create musical conversations (whether written down or not) when somebody is watching you. Isn't it the same of how we feel when we act in front of others? Humans need audience. The voices in the piece become living characters that can interact, mimic, scream, weep, cheat, fight and do the things that people normally do. Then stage fright becomes a distant memory in the back of your mind which will not bother you during performance. |
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Drs. Vidas Pinkevicius and Ausra Motuzaite-Pinkeviciene Organists of Vilnius University , creators of Secrets of Organ Playing. Our Hauptwerk Setup:
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